Ladypoet09's Blog

FOF (FEAR OF FAILURE)

ladypoet09 — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 18:42:12 +0000

Ever had that sinking feeling of failing those you love or hold very dear to your heart? Well I have that feeling right now. Someone who is Extremely close to me had a loss and her mother’s funeral is today! I have missed it and feel she needed me more today than any other time in her life. Extenuating circumstances have held me back from going which is aside the point but I still feel that she will harbor ill will toward me for not being there for her. You know how a person can do alot of good for others but that one bad thing changes everything? Well, that’s how I’m feeling. I feel extremely bad for not being able to go and I guess I may be hard on myself. I know that if it were me I would want her there. Not saying this hasn’t already been established, but a loss is an important thing, especially a mother or father. I just feel that I’m failing in being a friend.

My 1st Freestyle…

ladypoet09 — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:28:34 +0000

Feel free to breathe

Catch your breath but don’t stress

The lyracist is in ya ear beatin on the drum

Like Shaka or Kunta Kinte-Tellin stories about his mum

The captivating vibrations of this beat-can’t you feel the heat?

Notorious-Victorious-Joyous One

The unshun-Undone Poetic One-Are you stunned?

Hone in on this metamorphasis

Like Optimus-

Prime subject for that intellect

Stimulating-Captivating-Motivating-Speaking One

Don’t shun from the fork’ed tongue that spits at you

My words stick to you like glue

Or better than that-Pick a hue

Every color of the rainbow times two

Lucky Charms or Boones Farm-I’ve got that flava 4 ya ear

Shhhhhh-be quiet-don’t you hear?

That’s the sound of mindblowin infatuation

Like that frantic masterbation

I got that climax-betta than cinemax

Late night Conversation-Stimulation-Mind-F#*king Alterations

Giving birth to this plethora of information

Your mind can’t take it-Aborting the fetus-Overwhelmed with disgust

For one of the 7 deadly sins-Envy-you must!!!!

??????? Part 2!

ladypoet09 — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 18:38:06 +0000

Have you ever just scratched your head in awe just 2 say huh? Well that’s been my life for the past few days or so. Wondering why God is placing all these trials before my feet and whether I am passing with flying colors or just crashing and burning. Love, life, relationships, etc. all seem to be a distant memory in the sense of my ever finding true happiness, joy, servitude…Who knows but God himself. When I think about it, I feel like a D student well capable of making an A. Am I not thinking clearly? Am I allowing my emotions dictate my actions? What are you trying to tell me God? What am I missing? The underlying meaning, work harder to be more understanding, it’s not about what I want, there are things more important, I am missing the Big picture, it’s not meant to be, take what I can get, slow down and smell the roses, work together to become better people, things will work out in the end, don’t be afraid of the unknown, go with the flow? I’m soo dang confused!

Words…Meaning?

ladypoet09 — Tue, 26 May 2009 01:01:49 +0000

Why is it that we hold so dearly the meaning of words? To me, its one of the most important forms of expression as well as one of the most meaningful forms of expression there is. Its soo important to me that what I say I hold dear to me like the Bible. That fathomable expression ‘mean what u say and say what u mean’ is like an outline for life. So when people lie to me or don’t mean what they say, pierces my soul like a red hot poker. I know everyone is not like me and therefore, don’t think as I do but, I do hold a certain standard when it comes to people and how I want to be treated and vice versa. Since I hold these virtues dear to my heart I automatically feel others should do the same. This I know only set myself up for a major fall and disapointment.
I just can’t help but to feel that when it comes to important things like words carrying meaning or weight that it should do just that! Sometimes our words are all we have as leverage and once decicrated we are no longer trustworthy. You give people chances time after time and it gets you nowhere but 2 steps behind the previous times. At what point does our words cease to have genuine meaning? Is it really that hard to stand behind what we say? What about the concequences no matter how big or small?

Venting

ladypoet09 — Sun, 17 May 2009 23:59:03 +0000

I’m sorry but I truly don’t feel that I should kiss people’s azz and baby them in order for them to feel fine for the moment!! We need to make ourselves happy and not rely on others to do that for us. It is definitely true that if people around you are negative that you will be negative also. I don’t like to be in a funk and negative all the time. I have enough anger issues than to deal with that also. I get soo frustrated when there’s something wrong with a friend or family member and feel that I am unable to assist with the problem. I don’t like to feel helpless and in a sense feel that I am contributing to the problem. It’s extremely tiringand frustrating to feel like I have to always go out of my way to make someone feel comfortable. Where’s that same treatment for me? I break my back to make others feel at ease while no thought is given to the fact that I may be physically and mentally drained behind doing things for people. No more headaches, heartaches, or strains of any type if I could only bring myself to look out for ME!! I have never been the type to do these things though because I have always put others before myself. People may not know this or even see it, but I know it and in all of my 32 years of being on this earth, I have never once felt appreciated for the things I do. I don’t look for these things, but it would be nice to at least get the appreciation or an acknowledgement for even the littlest things that are done in kindness. This goes for friends as well as family. People don’t know how good they have a thing until it’s gone and even after that if they have the chance to regain what they have lost, it’s like nothing has changed from before. How can lessons be learned if the party(s) don’t even realize that there is a lesson at hand? Life experiences are crazy indeed. There’s no book that can explain these things to me because if I don’t experience them for myself, it’s just words on paper. If you understand where I am coming from then please leave a comment and explain your own story, thanks

???

ladypoet09 — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:35:47 +0000

Why is it soo hard to have a simple conversation with people you live with? This should not be this damn complicated….thats what happens when you deal with different personalities. Sometimes I feel like throwing my hands up and saying Forget It!!! Pride will allow me to do that in a heartbeat but my mind and soul just will not. Just another one of those complicated life issues I guess.

Life

ladypoet09 — Mon, 11 May 2009 18:55:13 +0000

Sometimes life can be more than a puzzle needing to be put together in order to see the big picture. Everything happens for a reason, I wholeheartedly believe that. But life can be more complicated than not and I feel this is so due to the walks we all choose to take. Who is to say that the road you take should be the same road I take and vice versa. Sometimes even the same walks can lead us down totally different paths. Within your walks in life, do you feel things should have been done differently or are you content with the way things are? What if you had it to do all over again? Would there have been minor or major changes made? What about viewing those mistakes as lessons learned? A hassle-filled part of life that tears you down all to build you back up and makes you a stronger human being…

Good morning WordPress!

ladypoet09 — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:46:40 +0000

Hello, just a bit of randomness chatter. I have absolutely no idea what type of topics I may blog about but am looking forward to getting a lot of things off my chest. If you like, you are more than welcome to introduce yourself here and leave a bit of randomness of your own…

Hello world!

ladypoet09 — Mon, 11 May 2009 11:20:01 +0000

Welcome to my page, Feel free to post your randomness and that of the like here: I am interested to see how you tick and will respond as needed. Thank you and looking forward to hearing from you all!!